Q&A: The Acknowledgement of Someone Named Paula and Her Father, Al

Q&A:
THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF SOMEONE NAMED PAULA AND HER FATHER, AL

AL
Alright, thank you everyone for being here.
Um,
it looks like some of you are ahead of us,
which is great,
really looking forward to this,
but uh there are microphones set up in the aisles.
We'll go clockwise and,
uh,
yeah!
We'll see how many we can answer.
Would you like to say anything before we get started?

PAULA
Yes:
Thank you all for sticking around!
…
That's it. :P

AL
Al//right–

PAULA
Oh and um…
…
No that's it.

AL
Are you sure?

PAULA
Yep. Sorry, just excited. :)
Thanks everybody! X)
Okay. That's it.

AL
Great. :)
So um…
house-left?
Let's start there.

RESPONDENT #1
…
Is that me?

PAULA
Yes. :)

AL
That's you. :)

RESPONDENT #1
Great. So,
first off,
I'd just like to thank you all for doing this.

PAULA
That's very kind. :)

AL
It is. :)
Um. What is your question?

RESPONDENT #1
Right, uh…
Did Paula know her father can read minds?

PAULA
I can take this.
Hi,
I was Paula.
I think,
well,
I think…
and,
of course this is open for discussion–

AL
As is the nature of these things.

PAULA
Yes,
as is the nature of them.
I think Paula has a sneaking suspicion.
She's bright,
from what I could gather,
and could probably intuit something…
that he was // at the very least–

AL
I think Paula–
Oh sorry, you finish. PAULA
Oh geez.
I'm so sorry.

RESPONDENT #1
You're fine. :)

PAULA
I was just going to say that
she at least could acknowledge that he was
remarkably perceptive.
She'd definitely noticed that.
That's all,
what were you going to say?

AL
Right.
I mean,
Paula's dad is smart.

PAULA
Right, yeah–

AL
And Paula is too,
for her age sure,
but even generally.

PAULA
Certainly!

REPONDENT #1 How old was she?

PAULA & AL
16.

AL
And 16 year olds,
I mean,
that's a pretty–
and I'm speaking from my own experience–
that's a pretty formative year.
Not just as an individual,
like–

PAULA
Well, that's when you start really
differentiating yourself from your environment.

AL
Exactly,
and along with that,
16 is when you start to formulate your
conception-of-self in relation to that environment.
That is:
how you relate to it…
Not precisely 16,
but,
you know,
around then–

PAULA
Interesting.

AL
And,
speaking as her father here,
so,
outside eyes in a way–
more outside, at least–
Paula's identity wasn't–
how do I say this?
It wasn't against her environment.
Society, I mean.

PAULA
You're talking about her internship?

AL
Right right.

PAULA
At the local government.

AL
Precisely.

PAULA
Right, she's definitely not going against society here. :P

AL
Definitely.
But there's certainly an against-ness with her father.

PAULA
Hmm…

AL
Or,
do you have something…?

PAULA
Well,
this may be splitting hairs,
but,
I don't know if there's anything
she could have done about that.

AL
Oh, I don't think so either,
Which,
not to get ahead of myself,
but that's what makes the whole
genetics thing interesting to me,
but anyway,
Paula was more at-home in the world, so to speak.
She knew,
as I'm sure we all know,
that people can't read minds.
At least not in any real sense.

PAULA
I don't know if that necessarily makes her smart. :P

AL
It doesn't.
But, it does make her wrong…
But, that umm…

PAULA
Against//-ness.

AL
Against-ness, thank you.
That against-ness with her father–
–and I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this–
I feel like she acknowledged that against-ness;
the relative ease with which each of them navigate the world.
That her father was definitely more…
I can't think of the word…
…
Just that her father's identity was more against society.

PAULA
Anti-social?

AL
Sure, um–

PAULA
Sorry.

AL
No, you're not wrong.
I just think that Paula read
her father's apparent perceptiveness as
a product of both his intelligence and
his being more at-odds,
more outside of,
against,
society.

PAULA
More of an observer.

AL
Exactly.

PAULA
Rather than a performer.

AL
Exactly.
So any sort of,
any uncanny acuity with regards to the thoughts of others,
wasn't super-
or supra-
natural,
but actually just a feature of his a-sociality.

PAULA
That sounds right.
I'm not sure if she,
well,
if she would consciously see it that way–

AL
You don't think so?

PAULA
No, no, I think,
you know–
having heard that explanation–
she wouldn't disagree necessarily.
But,
I don't think she saw it as a kind of…
I don't think she saw it as an effect of his,
what did you call it?

AL
Asociality?

PAULA
Right, good-word.
His apparent perceptiveness wasn't so much
an effect of his asociality,
but actually a reason for his asociality.
I mean,
from her perspective,
and going back to the text here…
Ummm…
Paula is frustrated with her dad when he knows things,
but does nothing with his knowledge.
He's smart, she thinks.
So why does he go on letting himself be so unlikeable?
So,
if she knew he could read minds…
well,
I don't think she could know that.
I mean,
it's hard to imagine a person who could read minds
and still act so…
well,
so unlikable;
so inept.
I don't think that Paula's capable to–
to conceive of a version of
her father who could read minds that is–
actually–
exactly the same as the one she's experienced.
I mean,
sure maybe we can,
but Paula?
I don't think she could.

AL
Huh…

PAULA
Yeah…
Sorry, did that answer your question?

RESPONDENT #1
Yes, thank you.

PAULA
Thank you.

AL
–Thanks.
Alright, umm, // yes.
CHARLIE
Hello. :)

PAULA
Charlie!

CHARLIE
Hi Paula, Hi Al.

PAULA
Oh, this is so nice. I'm so glad you could make it. :)

CHARLIE
Me too!

AL
It's great to see you. :)

CHARLIE
You too, you too–
Sorry, I know there's a line.

AL
Go for it.

CHARLIE
Um.
How's the new house?

PAULA
Oh.

AL
Um…

PAULA
Small.
It's small.

AL
Yes, we're still.
We're adjusting.
…
It'll be a home soon.

PAULA
…

CHARLIE
Right–
…
We can talk later…

PAULA
Bye Charlie.

AL
Bye.

CHARLIE leaves.

RESPONDENT #2
Hey. Uh–

AL
Hello.

RESPONDENT #2
Where was the gift card from?

PAULA & AL
Footlocker.

RESPONDENT #2
Oh.

AL
Yep.

RESPONDENT #2
Alright.

RESPONDENT #3
Hi.

PAULA
Hello.

RESPONDENT #3
Um, thank you.
I'll keep this brief.
I just,
I guess my question has two parts…
If that's alright?

AL
Is that your question? :P

RESPONDENT #3
No. :(

PAULA
He's kidding, go ahead. Yes.

RESPONDENT #3
Okay.
So I guess the first thing is um,
where is Paula's mother during all of this and um,
I mean,
is she,
is she dead or–?
That's not my question,
but if she is, umm…
…
Is she?

AL
Yes.

RESPONDENT #3
Okay, great–
um, so–
not-great I mean–
uhh… :/

PAULA
You're doing great.
Take your time.

RESPONDENT #3
Thanks, I…
I just…

AL
We can come back, if you'd like?–

RESPONDENT #3
I'm wondering if that has an effect on their relationship,
if so how,
and what is the–
What is the nature of her absence?

AL
The nature of her absence?\

RESPONDENT #3
The mother's, yeah–
Sorry, that was three parts. :/

PAULA
It's a big question.

RESPONDENT #3
Sorry. I know. Sorry… :(

PAULA
No, that's great.
It's very important we ask ourselves these questions.

AL
It's the nature of these things.

PAULA
It is, but it's really…
It's the purpose of these things as well.
And,
I just,
I'm very grateful for the big questions.
It well…
It takes a lot of bravery.
And I'm thankful.

RESPONDENT #3
Thank you. :')

PAULA
Thank you. Well…
…

AL
…

PAULA
If it's not too much to ask,
I would just…
I know we would really like to get
some more voices in on this question.
I mean,
I have thoughts on this,
but I was Paula–
–and you were Paula's dad–
And,
only if you're comfortable,
I'd like to hear what you think the nature of her absence was?

RESPONDENT #3
Well–

PAULA
If that's alright.

RESPONDENT #3
Yes, I…
I think…

PAULA
Take your time.

RESPONDENT #3
…
Her death wasn't sudden.

AL
(!)

PAULA
Right.

RESPONDENT #3
So it gave them all time to kind of,
prepare for that absence.
And Paula's mom was there for that too.
She helped them prepare.

AL
She did…

RESPONDENT #3
And,
while preparing…
They all,
well,
it was the most together they'd ever been.
That's when they really came together as a family.
And,
well,
like you said,
16 is formative…

AL
What was that?

RESPONDENT #3
Or around that time, I mean–
It didn't happen long ago.
Sometime in the last year.

PAULA
Huh.

RESPONDENT #3
Sorry did I, did I get that right?

PAULA
Yes, yeah, sorry, please continue.

RESPONDENT #3
Well…
Paula saw that.
She saw this was the most like-a-family they had been.
And saw her part in that environment.
Al too.
And there was hope in that,
that,
this difficult time didn't tear them apart,
but brought them together…
So there was hope for uhh,
well,
there was hope that after she died that…

PAULA
And her mother?

RESPONDENT #3
What was that?

PAULA
Do you think
Paula's mother knew this?

RESPONDENT #3
I think so. Yes.

AL
Good… :)

RESPONDENT #3
And that made it all,
well,
we would expect that to make things easier.
It was no surprise that it made things easier.
And then the time came and well…
I…
From what I could tell,
and…
I hope I'm wrong, but…

PAULA AND AL
…

RESPONDENT #3
I think her absence would be defined as…
one of…
disappointment.
…
Of failure and guilt.
…
That the implicit promise of
familial love wasn't
necessarily a certainty.
It was actually,
well,
a process that would require
a greater amount of maintenance
than they could have imagined.
And this maintenance
they had not really practiced before.
Not between the two of them.
So that,
on all of their actions,
there's this…
extra weight;
a felt responsibility to do better,
to be the perfect family,
which,
in their minds,
was the case
while she was dying.
So,
whenever…
whenever petty cruelty appears,
in whatever form,
the um,
the lamp or even sharing the joke with her coworkers…
which,
I mean,
Paula knew how her father would feel about that–

PAULA
Uh, stop– (?)

AL
Let them–

PAULA
No. I…
I don't think we should excuse his // actions.

AL
Let them // finish…

RESPONDENT #3
It certainly doesn't excuse his actions at all.
He was completely unreasonable, but…
She knew how he was going to react unreasonably.
And did it anyway–

PAULA
But it was just a joke.
There's nothing wrong with– >:/

RESPONDENT #3
Right, yes, but she felt guilt, like immediately.
Right?
Like,
it didn't take her father yelling at her to feel bad.
She told the joke and immediately felt bad.
Right?

AL
Sweetie…

PAULA
Yeah.
Yes.
You're right. >:(

AL
:(

RESPONDENT #3
Sorry, I'm not excusing his actions at all.
I'm not meaning to–

AL
–it's okay…

RESPONDENT #3
What I mean to say is:
Her actions,
their actions,
aren't umm,
or,
let me rephrase that…
Either consciously or not,
they aren't…
I believe:
Paula and her father are unable
to allow their actions–
wrongness aside–
to be singular.
The lamp is coupled
w/ the failure of the father to,
well,
be a father.
And the joke is coupled with,
in Paula's eyes,
her failure to be the daughter that would be
most at-home in that environment,
the daughter most at-home in her family. And further–
Further…

RESPONDENT #3 (cont’d) … :(
But…
maybe I'm wrong…

AL
So…where do we go from here?

RESPONDENT #3
Well…
I…
You could try camping.
I like camping.
That might be a nice thing to do.

PAULA
…

AL
Thank you for this.

PAULA
Are there any more questions?

RESPONDENT #4
Hi.

AL
Here's one–

PAULA
Yes. :|

RESPONDENT #4
Have there been any updates on the whale?