The Local Government Makes a Decision & Explains that Decision Clearly
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THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT MAKES A DECISION & EXPLAINS THAT DECISION CLEARLY
*A podium. ANDY enters with papers. He sees the podium… Envying a gruesome death, he approaches the podium.*
ANDY
Greetings, good morning, good afternoon, hello–
We,
your city council,
have,
with the wellness of our constituents,
some of which are friends,
some; family,
others…
in mind,
decided,
we have,
that is,
after rigorous debate,
tusslings re: personal wars,
resentful nights and remorseful mornings,
to,
officially,
acknowledge the whale.
ANDY looks out, offers an agonized grin.
ANDY (cont'd)
We cannot,
for purposes, reasons, precautions
pertaining to both safety and practicality,
disclose how
and of what form
or formszzzzzz
this acknowledgement has taken and will go on to take,
as we roll out what may or may not be understood as
"future initiatives."
Uncertain pause.
We've decided to acknowledge the whale and so it is acknowledged. We do not take this task lightly. We are, if anything, aware of the many possible darknesseszz that lay ahead. However, in spite of these truths, we have found humor, a struggle which we can only sheepishly encourage all to endeavor, in this hour. Some examples: a number of us have politely, in passing, not seriously, strictly in passing, noted our present situation as a "whale of a problem" which is hilarious to many of us; riotous to some; "okay" to… a contemptible few. >:( The hilarity of this, it should be noted, has yet to be to the detriment of our concerted effort to adequately address the gravity of this situation. Though… …we'll keep an eye on it…
We have likewise noted "gravity" is, under certain circumstances, also humorous, given the general size of any given whale; big, although, admittedly, funny of a lesser order than the previously mentioned "whale of a problem" phrasing which a certain intern, Paula, introduced to the benefit of her superiors and fellow interns. Paula has been rewarded with a gift card, for which she is grateful. May she be a model to us all. I've been– Apologies. I don't feel like myself.
Pause.
I hope this adequately addresses your concerns… I…I hope this will get easier.
Pause.
I'm gonna… Take a walk, I think.
