Someone Named Andy Talks to Someone Named Al on the Phone

ANDY enters. CHARLIE gets up and hugs him

ANDY
Hey, hello!

CHARLIE
I missed you.

ANDY
You too. :)

They hold each other.

ANDY (cont'd) Charlie–

CHARLIE I know. I know…

They hold each other more.

ANDY
Charlie–

CHARLIE
Right, you're right.
Okay.
Don't be long–

ANDY
Before you know it.

CHARLIE
I know. Okay. :)
I know…
Wait…

CHARLIE begins to mess up ANDY's hair, clothes, etc.

ANDY
I have to take this.

CHARLIE
Not yet.

ANDY
That's–
That's very kind of you.
Okay– :)
I think, that's good. X)

CHARLIE
Okay.

They give his hair one last swipe.

CHARLIE (cont'd)
Love you.

ANDY
You too.

CHARLIE exits swiftly. ANDY takes a breath, answers the phone.

ANDY
Hello.

AL
That was my joke.

ANDY
…
Hello?

AL
Andy. It's Al.

ANDY
Hey//Al.

AL
Listen to me.
I need you to listen to me.

ANDY
Okay.

AL
That was my joke.

ANDY
I'm sorry…
I'm having trouble–

AL She stole my joke.

ANDY
I'm having trouble following–

AL
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
"A whale of a problem."
You remember?

ANDY
Haha.

AL
My words.
Mine.
Did she not tell you?
Did she not tell you where she got that joke?!

ANDY
Oh the joke.
I didn't see you there.

AL
I wasn't.
TV, the news, Andy.
Are you–

ANDY
The news was there? :o

AL
Andy, are // you listening–

ANDY
How did I look?

AL
… >:|
You looked…
You looked good.

ANDY
Did I look official?

AL
Yes.

ANDY
Thank you.

AL
Andy–

ANDY
Does the job suit me?

AL
Yes, the job suits you–

ANDY
Thank you.

AL
Andy, I don't have a lot of time.
I would just like to know–

ANDY
When you see me on the news
do you think: "here's a guy that can do no harm?"

AL
Sure.

ANDY
Do you think:
"Here's a guy
with a head on some shoulders?"

AL
Yes, that is what I think–

ANDY
Thanks.

AL
Okay.

ANDY
Al?

AL
Andy.

ANDY
Can…
…
I think…

AL
What? >:|

ANDY
Al?

AL
Andy. >:|.

ANDY
Al, a car fell on my house last night.

AL
What?!

ANDY
I think–

AL
Is everyone okay?

ANDY
Someone must have fixed it.

AL
…
I think you had a dream.

ANDY
…
I guess I did… :/
:(

AL
Andy, I'm in a little bit of a hurry–

ANDY
Is it just me or–

AL
I don't know. :|

ANDY
Or does–

AL
I don't know. >:|

ANDY
AL!

AL
…

ANDY
Is it just me or…
Does everything
keep happening?
Are you still there?

AL
I am.

ANDY
Okay. Good.
Okay.
Is there anything I can help you with?

AL
Yes. :|
Did Paula tell you it was my joke?

ANDY
Who?

AL
Paula.
"Whale of a problem."

ANDY
Haha.
No.

AL
… >:|
That's what I thought. >:|

ANDY
Hey Al?

AL
That's what I thought >:(

ANDY
Could you call Charlie?
I'm not sure where the time went.

AL
I have to go.
I have to give a presentation…