Wilda and the Wizard

A door creaks open, footsteps are heard.

[Terrance emits a startled yelp, then continues energetically]

Wilda: Hey!

Terrance: Why hello there! It’s been a while since I’ve last seen you. Well it’s always been a while given that you order things in bulk and such, but anyway… Come see what I’ve been working on!: I’ve figured out the precise way in which the chemicals present in plant matter change depending on celestial bodies: comets, asteroids, meteors. That’s where my brand new telescope comes in of course!

Wilda that’s interesting.

Terrance: I got it trading with an orc - the poor guy had no idea what it was. Come to think of it he probably stole it from somewhere. I would feel guilty for being complicit in that, but we don’t do ethical protocols or risk-assessments or environmental pledges around here.

[He chuckles to himself and an awkward silence ensues]

Terrance: So what do you thi…

Wilda: [Blankly and loud] : “I no longer require your assistance, Terrance”

Terrance joking right?”

Wilda: The gnomes have laid me off and there’s no point in staying up all night if I don’t have to.

Terrance you’ll stop using my potions of restfulness? And start… sleeping?”

Wilda: Well, I’ll try.

Terrance: But you’ll be wasting your time! A third of your life could be spent on…

Wilda: Doing what exactly? All I’ve known for years is my work – I’ve taken pride in being the most productive employee in the history of their company and now it’s all gone!

Terrance you considered getting a hobby?”

[Wilda scoffs]

Wilda: Just give me the attraction potions. That’s all I need.

[Terrance quietly sighs]

A loud ‘slosh’ is heard, as Terrance hands over a large glass container of liquid.