Someone Named Charlie Talks to Their TV (Variation #2)

SOMEONE NAMED CHARLIE TALKS TO THEIR TV (Variation #2)

CHARLIE is in the car with the TV buckled into the passenger seat. It is night. They drive around.

TV
Thank you for bringing me.
The house is very lonely with no one in it.
It gets so solemn.
It's just a building like any other.
With things in it.
A type of storage…
This truth is not lost on your house.

CHARLIE
Fuck.

TV
It is better these things be made known.

TV
Why are we turning?

CHARLIE
I forgot my phone.

TV
:/

CHARLIE
Please don't–

TV
I wasn't going to say anything.
I promise.

CHARLIE
Thank you.

TV
Have you thought about your house?
It thinks about you.
When you are home it thinks:
I want to say the perfect thing to them.

CHARLIE
What was that?

TV
I want so badly to say the perfect thing to you, Charlie,
thinks your house.

CHARLIE
…

TV
Your house thinks:
I should say something that is
everything all at once.
Funny and somber.
Expansive and inconsequential.
Something memorable and forgettable.
Profound and vague.
A hat that compliments your perfect smile perfectly…
Your house thinks these things.

CHARLIE
Shit…

TV
We've been talking, you see.

CHARLIE
Shit, fucking, goddammit.
I think this is the worst moment of my life.

TV
Oh… (?)

CHARLIE
This is it.
I think this is.
This is the worst one.

TV
…
Is there anything I can do?

CHARLIE
No.
No I don't think there is.
…
It's kind of magical, isn't it?

TV
What?

CHARLIE
Misery.

TV
(?)

CHARLIE
Total collapse.
Splintering wood.
Bottomless pit.
Pulling apart.
…
I am completely helpless in this moment.
I am completely helpless and in so much distress.
Haha.

CHARLIE puts their hand to their chest.

CHARLIE (cont'd)
How did that get there?

TV
What?

CHARLIE
… (!)
I need to find Paula.

TV
What about Andy?

CHARLIE
I need to find her, I need to talk to Paula.

TV
Charlie.

CHARLIE
I need to find her.

TV
Charlie, don't, you can't just–

CHARLIE
I need to find Paula!

They look to the sky. A shadow swallows the world.

COULD YOU GUESS WHICH ONE WAS YOU?

NO?

OH.

THAT'S ALRIGHT.

COULD YOU GIVE ME A COUPLE MINUTES?

IT'S ALRIGHT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.